You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
