Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
