Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
this will be a night to untag.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You've changed since you got that strap on
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
