I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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