I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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