her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
