he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
she peed on how many people?
i came on her dog
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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