is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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