M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
no more duck duck goose at the bar
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just blew my weed a kiss
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize