Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
