So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
where does the pee come out of this thing
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
