Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
