Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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