There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
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