Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
