just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
