Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
