My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
