8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
