It's like God shit irony all over that family
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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