You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
