once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
