I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
