Soap is not a condiment
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize