it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
