No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
