You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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