love makes seman taste better
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
