Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
