Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
