This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
