Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
