you guys were way drunker than both of me
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
