I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Randomize
