I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
