its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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