You can't motorboat a personality
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize