How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
