Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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