Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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