I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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