You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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