i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
