butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
