you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
