Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize