How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
