well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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