3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
