Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
