things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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