8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I seem to have left my pride at pride
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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