I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
