he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Come share oat with me in your robe
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
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