what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
