i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
