I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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