what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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