Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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