you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We talked him into tasing himself.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Two words: blizzard sex
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
