its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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