I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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