Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
